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The very first version of this song came about way back in the fall of 2001. At the time I was working as an environmental project manager for a large consulting company that specialized in mine closures. In August and early September I was supervising the closure of waste site for a gypsum mine in Southern Ontario near the City of Hamilton.
Most of the projects that my crew and I worked on were in remote parts of the world and being so close to a large city was something of a novelty for us. We were used to living and working out of remote trailers and having to live on trailer-brewed coffee 24/7. Being close to amenities such as coffee shops was something of a bonus and we really made the most of it, hitting the local Tim Horton’s at least five times a day (on the way to work, at morning coffee, at lunch, at afternoon coffee and then at the end of the day).
One of the things that struck me was the number of cars that were always lined up at the drive-thru. I’m not exaggerating when I say in the song that there were 42 cars in the drive-thru line because many times there were that many or more and I even counted them one day – thus the 42. I used that experience along with some other experiences (like trying to find decent coffee in the US) to come up with the basic song.
There’s a touch of a sad note to this story – we wrapped up the project on the morning of September 11, 2001 and were oblivious to what was happening south of the border until we stopped off at our head office in Mississauga on our way home to Sudbury. The whole building had stopped everything and everyone was glued to the TV screens watching the attacks on the Trade Center. We were all numb from the shock.
Twenty years later, JK and I were pondering how we wanted to work this song into the album. It’s a fun ditty but JK figured we could do a bit more with it – and he was right – as always. We decided that we should vary the choruses so that we could get more detail and add a few more chuckles and snickers. After several hours of brainstorming we came up with all of the new choruses and the new version of “Tim Horton’s Junkie” was born.

Lyrics

Tim Horton’s Junkie
© 2021 RC Burns and JK Gulley
All Rights Reserved



Verse 1
There’s a menace that’s out on the streets of our towns
Coffee and donuts are the stars in their crown
You can’t drive a block without seeing that sign
And the forty two cars in the drive-through line

Chorus 1
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie die-hard for that brand
I was born with an extra-large cup in my hand
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie hooked on that brew
A Tim Horton’s junkie, how about you?

Verse 2
I get up and head out for work everyday
I stop at Tim Horton’s along the way
Double double and bagel to go
I get edgy if the line’s too slow

Chorus 2
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie just rollin’ the rim
Anxiously hoping that my next cup will win
A Tim Horton’s junkie all the day through
A Tim Horton’s junkie, how about you?

Verse 3
I once made a trip to the U S of A
But I couldn’t stay there for more than one day
Gas station java it made me sick
I needed a Tim Horton’s fix real quick

Chorus 3
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie I can’t seem to stop
And if I can’t find one I’ll follow a cop
A Tim Horton’s junkie somewhere in this town
A Tim Horton’s junkie, you know where I’m bound

Verse 4
My therapist says I can quit if I try
But each time I pass one I almost cry
I’ve been clean for quite a while
Since I started going to the Country Style

Chorus 4
But I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie if you know what I mean
Searching the streets for a hit of caffeine
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie trying so hard to quit
There ain’t been a Timmy’s that I haven’t hit yet
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie and I hope when I die
I’ll float to that drive through way up in the sky
Where the line isn’t long and you don’t have to wait
A Tim Horton’s junkie at the big pearly gates
I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie hooked on that brew
A Tim Horton’s junkie how about you?

Spoken
Hmmm a Glazed Sour Cream
Or maybe a Honey Cruller
No, no, no a Boston Cream or a Dutchie
Ah just gimme a double double and a box of Tim Bits